20 April 2026
By Roger Kennedy
roger@TheCork.ie
Sport & Entertainment
You know, with the Premier League ripping along at full pelt and football betting in Ireland going absolutely mental on all the Haaland anytime goalscorer lines, the one question every punter and fan is screaming about is the same: can anyone actually stop this Norwegian monster this season? From the bookies in Waterford to the WhatsApp groups in Dublin and the bars up in Belfast, lads are hammering the over 25 goals markets like there’s no tomorrow. Haaland is just on another planet right now and it feels like the rest of Europe is chasing shadows. Honest to God, I’ve never seen anything like it in my lifetime of watching the game.
Haaland’s ridiculous numbers this season
Let’s be honest, the stats are borderline silly. By mid-April he’s already smashed past 30 goals in all competitions for City, and we’re not even into the proper run-in yet. He’s scoring headers from six yards, tap-ins after mazy runs, rockets from outside the box, the lot. It doesn’t matter if it’s raining cats and dogs, if the pitch is like a ploughed field, or if the defender is six-foot-five and built like a brick wall. The ball just seems to find him every single time. I’ve watched him for years now and I swear he’s added another layer this campaign – smarter movement off the ball, better link-up play with the midfield, and that finishing is ice cold. You watch him and you think “how is this even fair?”
What makes him nearly impossible to handle
It’s not just the physical side, although the size, speed and strength combo is frightening enough on its own. It’s the way he reads the game like he’s got a sixth sense. One minute he’s dropping deep to collect the ball and lay it off, the next he’s ghosting in behind the defence and burying it before the keeper even moves. Defenders can’t get tight because he’ll bully them off the ball, they can’t drop off because he’ll spin in behind and be gone in a flash. Pep has built the whole City attack around feeding him the right balls at the right time and it’s working a treat. Even when teams try the low block and sit deep with ten men behind the ball, he’s still winning headers or smashing half-volleys that most strikers would sky over the bar.
City’s machine and how it feeds him
You have to give proper credit to the lads around him too. De Bruyne’s still pulling the strings when he’s fit, Foden is playing out of his skin on the wing, and those full-backs bomb on like it’s the last game they’ll ever play. It creates so many chances that even a half-decent striker would look good. But Haaland isn’t half-decent – he’s turning good chances into goals and half-chances into tap-ins week after week. That’s the difference between a very good player and a genuine goal machine. City are purring along like a well-oiled machine and he’s the main engine driving the whole thing forward.
And when you look at the way he’s carrying that City attack week in week out, it’s no surprise that FIFA World cup predictions are already putting Norway right in the mix for a proper run in 2026. If he keeps banging in goals at this rate, the Scandinavian lads could go from being dark horses to serious contenders for the trophy itself. The whole country over there must be buzzing.
The growing challenge – who’s even trying to stop him?
Every single manager in the league knows they have to find some sort of answer, but most of them are just hoping to limit the damage rather than actually shut him down completely. You see teams double-marking him, sometimes even triple-marking him on set-pieces, but he still pops up with a goal or an assist out of nowhere. The Premier League defenders are getting more physical with him as the season goes on, but he’s learned how to use that to his advantage – drawing fouls in dangerous areas or winning penalties that change the game. It’s like he’s two steps ahead all the time and the defenders are just reacting.
Specific battles that could actually test him
There are a few matchups coming up that might actually give us a clue if anyone can slow him down. Arsenal’s backline with Saliba and Gabriel is probably the best-organised and most physical in the league right now. If anyone can make life awkward for him it’s those two lads working together. Then you’ve got Liverpool’s high press under Slot – if they can force City into mistakes high up the pitch, maybe Haaland gets isolated for once. Chelsea have tried the man-marking job a few times this season and come reasonably close, but he still ended up scoring in most of those games. Even the smaller sides are having a proper go now with packed defences and long balls, but most of them just end up on the wrong end of a 4-0 or 5-0 hiding and Haaland walks off with another hat-trick.
Dark horse defenders who might have a chance
Don’t sleep on some of the lesser-known centre-halves coming through either. You’ve got young lads at Everton and Bournemouth who are quick enough to live with his pace and brave enough to put their bodies on the line. One or two of them could have a career-defining afternoon if they get it right on the day and the rest of their team actually backs them up. It’s those kinds of surprise performances that make the Premier League so good to watch – and so bloody hard to bet on if I’m being honest with you.
What actually defines a player who can stop Haaland
At the end of the day it’s not about one magic tactic or one super defender. It’s a mixture of things all coming together at the same time. You need pace to match him over ten yards, strength to handle him in the air and on the ground, football intelligence to read his runs before they happen, and a whole team that’s willing to work their socks off for the full 90 minutes without switching off. Most importantly you need a manager who isn’t scared to set the team up to frustrate and defend rather than go toe-to-toe in an open game. Very few sides in the league have all of that sorted right now. That’s why the bookies are still paying out silly odds on him to score in pretty much every single match he plays.
The betting side of it all in Ireland
Back home the betting shops and online apps are loving every minute of it. The Haaland specials are flying out the door every weekend – anytime scorer, first goal, hat-trick, over 2.5 goals in the match, you name it and the punters are on it. Lads are building accumulators around him every single Saturday and most weeks they’re cashing in nicely. But the smarter money is starting to look at the games where City play the really stubborn low-block teams. That’s where the value might be if someone finally works out how to quieten him down for a full 90 minutes. Still, even then, I wouldn’t be putting my house on it.
Challenges for anyone trying to tame him
The biggest problem for any defender is consistency. Even the best centre-halves in the world only have to switch off for two seconds and Haaland punishes you without mercy. Add in the fact that City dominate so much possession and you’re chasing shadows for long periods of the game. Fatigue is another massive factor – by the time the run-in comes around in April and May, some of these centre-halves will have already played 50-odd games across all competitions. Haaland looks like he could run through walls right now and still have energy left for extra time.
Final thoughts – is this season his peak or just the start?
I reckon we’re watching something truly special unfold in front of our eyes. Haaland is only 25 but he’s playing with the maturity and finishing of someone who’s been at the top for ten years. If he stays fit and City keep creating chances at the rate they are, the goal tallies could get into ridiculous territory before the season is out. Will someone find a way to stop him completely? Maybe in one game here and there on a good day, but consistently across a whole season? I’m not so sure anymore. The lad just looks unstoppable right now and every Irish football fan and punter is loving every single minute of it.
At the end of the day the football is the real winner here. Whether you’re watching for the pure goals, the drama of the title race, or the buzz of the betting slips landing, Haaland is giving us all something to talk about every single weekend. Let’s see if anyone can finally shut him up this season. I’ll be glued to the box like the rest of you, pint in hand, hoping for another masterclass.